I have more or less gotten over the Jar and I episode. Thanks to the friends around me. I dont think its worth shedding so much tears over a guy who doesnt appreciate the good in his life. I cant love a man who cant even treasure or help himself. Looks like wo zheng de ai cuo le. Anyway Mandy and I went to the bbq roy soe and gang organised specially for her birthday at west coast park last night. Its quite funny towards the end. After we distributed the cake, mandy was saboed by a whole lot of them. Cake on her face, drenched top to toe (thank god she brought extra clothes) and smeared with hell knows what yucky stuff. I was like OMG! Then Alvin saw that I was 'untouched' so he didnt let me off either. He smeared some cake on my face despite protests from me! We took some photos in which some of the guys were trying to act gay or even suggestive. Lol! Haven seen them all for a while. Been really busy. Its great to meet up with them again last night but somehow the bond is not as close as before. Haiz. Well.

Anyway, rena is very upset over her own r/s. Sera and I dont know how to help. Seeing her like this really makes me want to cry too. Brings back all the hurt, all the memories, from both the past and some unknown depth in me and also from the recent breakup with jar. Sometimes I think im damn stupid. Damn damn stupid. Haiz. Silly too. Foolish and naive. Keep falling into the same pit over and over again, the one I tried so hard to climb out of everytime I fall. Maybe, like matty say, I have to go introspective and find the real me. What I want, my values, me as a person. I need a break, some time off. For myself. I dont want to be lost, to be a drifter. I want to find my own place. Its time like this when I wish I could just take some time off from everything in my life and just be by myself. Go overseas or something, away from home and the people I love. Just for a while. Hopefully then, I can find the peace I so yearned. Maybe then, I can find me.