I always try not to do anything to anyone that I do not want to happen to myself. I believe in karma and I never want to meet the day when every wrong deed I have done to come back to haunt me. Sometimes I wish that people are nice and sweet to me, not because they are interested in me but because they really like me as a friend. If being nice comes with a motive and it stops after I said I only want to be friends, then I rather they dont like me from the start. Because then at times it feels like I have lost a friend. And it makes me feel like im not a friend worth keeping. And if continuing being friends with them gives them false hopes, then I really dont know what to do. I try my best to protect their hearts, but who's gonna protect mine? Im not gonna serve my heart on a silver platter like the last romance anymore.


Read one of my friend's entry. Somehow I feel that while being in a r/s isnt about material comforts and gifts, it is important to give at least something. Like just buying small gifts or surprises for him/her, and not take the other party for granted and let the love stagnate, feeling happy in your little world and slowly draining the love away without replenishing it. It makes the other person question and wonder how much she means to you. I know love isnt all about giving presents and stuff but it matters. Not the gift, but the thought and the essence of it. Little actions count. There's only so much a person can take. Even understanding can run dry when words have no basis to back it. Every gal needs pampering, love is not so noble these days. Hell, love isnt enough.

I just received a msg from her. I hope you're happy with whatever choice you make.


Its not that im fussy or picky or even that my heart is made of stone not to be touched. Its just I just cant bring myself to settle for less than what I feel for a person and that whatever choice I make has to be a good one that will carry me through a lifetime with him. I dont want to end up breaking hearts and losing a friend. Why then do I always end up making the wrong kinda choices.