Had an argument with my mom last night. I told her I couldnt make it next thursday afternoon to help my dad out at the office coz I had to go dye hair (didnt wanna tell her that actually coz I knew it wld be a dumb excuse to HER but I couldnt think of any other good reasons nor did I wanna lie since she will obviously see my newly dyed hair). Then she got very angry and started scolding me (like wtf). She rant about A LOT of things which I shallnt put up since its quite a bit and I cant seem to organise my thoughts now and ask me to pay more for another salon. Rather than asking my uncle to take an extra half a day off to cover for me and waste his leave (leave=money). Yeah ok so Im irresponsible coz I promised my dad already and now Im going back on my word. Then she said that if next time dad really needs my help in the office, even if it means I have to skip school, I'll have to help him. (wow she NEVER ask me to skip school before for whatever reasons but now...) In the end, I have to tell Mandy I cant go with her. Haiz Im so sorry babe.
She walked outta my room and talked with my dad and she came back in and ask me if i hv sch today. Then she said to find out how much is the refund and ask me to terminate school and start working to earn money. (%^#^%*$#*@ WTH!!! I cant believe she said that la.) She said my attitude shows that Im not interested in studying anymore so why waste the time and money. And now that school has started, Im still happily enjoying myself going out shopping and using net and not studying. So she's pissed. She obviously has no faith in her daughter. And OBVIOUSLY she doesnt understand me. Why would she, when she never make any effort to from the start. Even if she does, its too damn bloody late. Its not that I dont love her or what, but sometimes she gets on my nerves and I wish she could just leave me alone and just be there to support me. I know I sound unfilial here and I feel bad, yea, and guilty. Its stressful at times trying to be the kind of daughter they want. Im so sorry. Really I am. I just cant seem to please them no matter what I do.
The moment I came home yesterday, she immediately came to my room (the door was locked) and demand to see what I bought. She wouldnt even let me change out first. She was hurrying me to open the door like she's afraid that I'll hide my purchases or whatever crap so she cant see them. I was really annoyed but I opened the door and showed her the top I bought (not the CK one coz I cant obviously show her tt. I stuff it into my cupboard the moment she started banging on the door. Phew). Dont act like ure concern or interested in my purchases mom. Ure undeniably just checking on me and I know it. I like the care ure showing us and the nice homey feeling that most homes provided but there are times like this when I wish you wld just leave me alone to my own device. Sighs...